It continually amazes me the difference of how people parent or don’t parent their kids. There are the “helicopter” parents on one end and then there are the “I had kids because I could” parents.
I have run into parents from both end of the spectrums. Let me tell you how I was raised to give some insight into how I feel.
I was raised that you never talked back to your parents or any other adult because… well… you would suffer the consequence. Non of us really knew what that was but we weren’t willing to find out.
You didn’t steal from your friends, neighbors or anyone else because… well… again you would suffer some kind of consequence that was beyond your wildest imagination.
You said thank you, please and your welcome because it came naturally due to the example your parents gave you.
I didn’t have to wait to get reprimanded until my father came home because I was raised by my father… thank goodness.
You were aware of others around you because the world didn’t evolve around you.
You always did your best because your parents always knew when you were slacking off.
You didn’t lie to your parents because eventually they find out when the guilt of what you did is too much to handle.
I was allowed to fail and make wrong decisions with the perspective that I had learned a valuable lesson. (This is important for helicopter parents to learn).
Since I was laid off from my job over a year ago I have had the opportunity to be more involved with my kids and their activities. I could be helping out every day in class but I don’t. The kids need to have other adults that they listen to and respect. I help out approximately once a week for about an hour in one son’s class and computer class for the other. I will help out whether in the classroom or out. I don’t need to hover (hence the name helicopter parent) over my kids while they are in school. When I have helped out in the younger son’s class and there is another parent I specifically ask if they can do the project with him and not me. I am there to help not monitor my child. One of the biggest compliment I received from the teacher was that Peyton behaved the same whether I was there or not. She was basically saying he was on his best behavior all the time. Music to a parents ears.
I was recently in the dentist office with both of my children. in the waiting area was another woman and three children. The fourth child was already in the dentist chair. They were disrespectful to her in that they did not listen to her when she reprimanded them. But from their perspective there was no consequence hence, they kept doing what they were doing. The way I view it is you are only making it harder on yourself in the long run if you don’t follow through. The kids were loud and obnoxious. After my kids and I had our appointment I found out I wasn’t the only one to think so. the doctors staff shared my sentiments.
My kids aren’t perfect by any means. What I will say is they have received numerous compliments on their behavior when they are at other people’s houses or we are out in public. Apparently well behaved children are such a rarity they get noticed.
As parents it is our responsibility to raise well adjusted, behaved and mannered children that will grow into mature and responsible adults. How else can we ensure a bright future for them or ourselves. They need to be able to make decisions on their own. This also means they need to be left alone to make their own mistakes on their own too. My father raised me to make my own decisions. Some of them were good and some of them were bad. Regardless, he was there to help mend or celebrate.
As I have said before my children aren’t perfect and neither and I but frankly my tolerance is getting thin for those parents who won’t step up to the plate and parent their kids.