Katniss

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This is one of my favorite images I ever took of Katniss many years ago. She has always been the wide eyed curious one.

Over the past year she has lost a significant amount of weight was started breathing quite rapidly. We took her to the vet and she was a mere six pounds. We ended up going back to the vet to get x-rays to get a better diagnosis. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be good news. the x-rays showed she had multiple lumps on her lungs causing her breathing to be hard for her. It is cancer. Because of the multitude of lumps as well as her age the only treatment recommended was palliative. So we are keeping her as comfortable as possible.

I started giving her the three medicines they prescribed. This proved to be a challenge since she would go hiding and giving her pills was traumatizing for her. Can’t say I blame her since the lumps were also affecting her esophagus. So to the pet store to get the biggest box of squeeze ups. She started to devour them so we mashed up her medicines to put in there without stressing her.

I put her favorite blanket on the bed so she does snuggle up and sleep there most nights. She has continued to lose some weight but she is still eating. One of the hardest calls to make is the one at the end of her life. To date we are still keeping her comfortable and content.

9/11

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Looking back 22 years ago and yes I remember where I was and what I was doing. I was working for Travelers Insurance in the field office. It was a day like every other or so I thought. John who was working across from me said.. A Cessna plane just hit one of the twin towers. New reports coming in were fast and furious and accuracy wasn’t the best for the initial reports. I remember thinking what the heck is going on with the radio control towers for this to happen. Then it happened… the second one hit. What are the chances? It never even occurred that we were under attack. Things were starting to unfold and another co-worker states a plane just went down at the Pentagon. The on-line news reports were being flooded and starting to freeze when trying to access. Even at that moment I don’t think anyone could fathom what was truly happening. News reports were scattered and littered with different pieces of the story and at that time nothing seemed to make sense. My supervisor at the time was in the reserves and later that same day he ran out of the office. We knew then how serious of a situation we were all in. We were let go early that day to be with our families. It was the quietest drive home. Barely any cars and nothing flying in the sky. We were all transfixed and still unaware of the vastness of what was happening.

I had found out about two weeks before this happened that I was pregnant with my first child. The only person that knew this was my husband and my supervisor (in case anything happened I needed him to know). To this day as Walker is now 21 years old he will never know how devastating of an event it turned out to be. He was born before the first anniversary of this event.

Time will continue but the memory still remains. This day means something different to many. I have friends that lost brothers, sisters, spouses and friends. So many people came together for one goal. We were stronger together and that day proved it. With the political climate what it is recently I find that many have forgotten how strong we can be. They are more interested in their own beliefs and that everyone agree with them. If you don’t agree then you are labelled uneducated or uninformed. The media has made people panic and not use common sense. As seen with the recent pandemic.

If we have learned anything is it is to remember history as it happened and hopefully learn from mistakes that were made. Remembering where we were, what we were doing, and what we were feeling is important to teach our children and those that did not experience that frightful day.

Always remember and never forget 09/11.

Empty Nest

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So the second kid was dropped off at college a few weeks ago. The oldest went about a week and a half ago. You hear for many years about the empty nest syndrome. To say the time went by quickly is an understatement. He is holding his kindergarten picture that he received when he registered. We blinked and here we are.

Fast forward and the drop off day was here. University of New Haven is lucky they get to see him everyday. He is a charger now and will be home only occasionally rather than every day. This one feels a little different as he is further away than the first one. He’s less accessible and more planning will need to happen to visit.

Ever since I can remember we have had to keep a whole gallon of milk in the fridge with an extra in the garage fridge. He is the milk drinker in the family and it was always consumed well before it expired. Once he left we realized we would probably need to get half gallons from now on and make sure check the expiration date. I open the fridge today and saw the half gallon. It wasn’t the sight that was upsetting it was what it represented. It meant Peyton wasn’t here.

I have many friends that are going through the empty nest syndrome with me. Everyone handles it differently and we are all mustering through. We love our little humans that we raised and they make us proud and we are going to miss seeing them all the time. But when that time comes to see them…. oh it will be wonderful. So here we are keeping the balance of letting them know we are here for them if they need but also supporting their new normal and new life they are creating without us.