Month: March 2010

While I very rarely post and forward e-mails.  I received this one from my husband that couldn’t stop laughing.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs , such as NHL 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

 

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.                                

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta…

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0.  (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech

 

It is amazing how quickly time passes and yet sometimes it seems to stand still.  It was four and half years ago when Rich and I were getting ready to go to the hospital for the planned c-section to deliver Peyton.  We knew it was a boy and we had already picked out the name. 

While groggy in the delivery room the conversation went like this.

I asked, “So… how big is he”?

“10 lbs. 1 ounce”.

I chuckled and replied, “No… how big was MY baby”.

My husband and medical staff chuckled a little louder and Rich replied, “That IS your baby”.

We have been lucky that our kids have been pretty healthy and have had minimal issues with one exception.  Three years ago this month we had to make our first visit to the emergency room.  I was at the school registering Walker for kindergarten.  I came home to find Walker playing all by himself in the driveway.  Of course this is not customary to leave a child in the driveway unattended.  The conversation went like this.

“Walker, where is daddy”?

“Peyton had an accident” he replied very matter of fact.

“He had what”?

“He had an accident”.

I now see my husband running out the front door with the little man in his arms and red blotches splattered everywhere.  Peyton was in the garage, picked up a bottle and accidently dropped it.  He then proceeded, as many 18-month olds do, fall forward until his little hand received a severe laceration to his middle finger.  So here is the test of when you figure out what you will do in an emergency situation.  Yes there was blood everywhere but was it life threatening… no.  I got back in the drivers seat and packed Walker in the back and Rick jumped into the passenger seat.  He was a trooper.  That is Peyton not Rich.  The latter was freaking out just a little.  He went through x-rays and eight stitches on a tiny finger  that was only about an inch long.  They had to put him under to do the stitches and he was the best little patient.  This was one of those time when time would stand still.  He had his hand and partial arm fully bandaged for about two weeks.

So here we are registering him for kindergarten already.  Look out world because here he comes.  Peyton will become part of the 2023 graduating class.  Though  there are already stories to tell, I know that there will be many more.  I can almost hear the phone ringing and the principal on the other end. 

To be continued… I am sure.  So stay tuned for more Harrigan Tales.

A classic never runs out of style.